There you are, minding your holiday business when someone’s dysfunction crashes into your spirit. There’s a lot of Grinches and Scrooges out there and they have the potential to rub off on you if you don’t set healthy boundaries. There are a lot of reasons why people aren’t at their best during the holidays, but their bad mood doesn’t have to affect you when you are ready, willing, and able to set boundaries and protect yourself from their negativity.

Here are the steps you need to set healthy boundaries for a joyful season:

Step 1. Be aware – Some people are going to be negative. Be aware. Be on the alert for people who have bad attitudes. Keep your radar up and recognize them quickly. Recognizing someone is negative or draining can help you set up your boundaries quickly.

Step 2. Have a plan – Prevention is worth more than the cure. That means it’s easier to prevent a problem than it is to overcome it once you’re in it. Having a plan for dealing with difficult people ahead of time helps. If you encounter a mean person during check out in the store, resolve not to take it personally or match their mood. Have a plan to be kind no matter what. You may even help make their day better with your bright attitude.

Step 3. Work the plan – It’s one thing to have a plan and another to work it. When people test your boundaries it’s sometimes hard to stay calm and use your plan. Practice makes perfect. The more intentional you are about setting healthy boundaries, the easier it will be. People will push up against your limits, but it’s worth it to stick to your plan. Don’t allow negative people to affect or infect your holiday spirit.

Here are some simple boundaries that can help make your season joyful:

Boundary – No gossip. Keep your holiday gatherings positive by refusing to gossip about other people or negative situations.

Boundary – No guilt. Keep your joy this holiday by refusing to feel guilty when you need to decline an invitation or choose not to participate in an activity.

Boundary – No reactions. It’s unrealistic to think someone won’t be confrontational or challenge your boundaries. Keep calm and remember you are not responsible for how someone else reacts to you. You are only responsible for your own behavior. Staying calm and rational is always the best way.

Sometimes finding the joy in the season is intentional. There are a lot of people who are void of holiday spirit and that can cause problems. Hold and keep strong boundaries to protect yourself and help keep your holiday spirit intact.

Today’s Assignment: Decide what your holiday boundaries will be and create your plan in advance so you’ll be ready to handle any negativity when or if it comes. Practice in the mirror or with a friend so you feel more comfortable stating your expectations.